I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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