I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
