I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
