I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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