I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
