You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
