I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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