We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
