I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
