I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
