No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
