oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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