fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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