Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
