they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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