in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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