The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
