it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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