Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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