I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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