halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
