put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
3pm strippers are depressing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
