Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
