You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
