Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
