I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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