I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
