saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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