i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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