what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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