Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm bleeding and have questions
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