Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
