I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In America we eat man semen.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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