Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
