Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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