how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
