another moral hangover. fuck.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
