i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
