this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
