the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
love makes seman taste better
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
