Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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