Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
