I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sobbing to NWA
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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