At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
