the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
should my penis look like a turkey
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
