angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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