do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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