I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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