Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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