you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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