For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
