Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
